SecretDiary

Last weekend

2009-06-26T14:08:00.010+08:00

Last weekend was an busy week for me. Last Saturday, went to ton over at Sembawang Park with hubby's relatives to celebrate the Junes' birthday. We brought many diferent types of home cooked food and pitching up our tents there. Me and parents in law cooked nasi briyani, daging blackpepper, ayam penyet, ikan jepun bakar with sambal tumbuk and sandwiches. I did not take any pictures throughtout the day as im too busy preparing food.

Woke up early on Saturday and off we went there. Unpacked our stuff and start to bakar some food. As the time goes by, more and more people came till the cake cutting session. Then later on, in evening another group of my favourite relatives from father's side came. I finally got company and we chilled and talk all night. Laughing and eating at the same time. I only manage to sleep at about 2am. I was very very lethargic.

Then on Sunday, initial plan was to meet my mum and other siblings but before meeting them, after coming back from sembawang park, had shower and everything, me and hubby head to Causeway Point first to buy my lil brother's birthday present. Trained over to Admiralty with my family and head over to Vivo City. My Lil brother insisted of watching Monsters vs Aliens 3D version so much so the moment we reached there, we booked the tickets first. While waiting for the movie to start, we went to have dinner first at banquet.

After dinner, we strolled around the shopping mall and took some pictures which adek bonc insisted of taking pictures together.

Then lil brother insisted to play at the arcade so much and to satisfy him, hubby bought the card and let him enjoy himself.

While waiting for the show to start,

After the movie,(which i slept halfway), mom told me that we should head hoe as uncle already bought a birthday cake for my brother. So he cut the cake and he cannot wait to open the presents.

Hubby and I bought a lego set and a remote control car and uncle bought him a pencil box. We sat awhile and we head home. Hubby and I were really sleepy and tired.

And newsflash! Pretty soon, im gonna get this!

IPOD Touch!

I will be collecing this next week when im free to collect. Haha!

Return

2009-06-17T12:46:00.008+08:00

Hello good morning! Im finally blogging right now on my lappy. Woke up very early this morning and head to my granny house. I came without telling them as I know my sister is still sleeping. Oh ya, my family are now shifted to my granny house a few weeks ago due to some family issues. So ya, a surprise visit and at the same i gave a very loud wake up call to my sister. Haha! Since my uncle has an internet access at home, I tend to blog some events and news recently.

Firstly, I would like to congratulate my dear PPIS friend, Ifah & Khai for their newborn baby girl, Putri(something something). I forgotten her name cos its too long! Hope you Ifah doing fine right now and to Khai, Happy Father's Day! Haha!

Then last friday, met my girlfriend ika at ang mo kio to do my hair. Yes, 2 days before my wedding my mak andam cut my hair till my shoulder length and it was back to my natural curl. I felt really rimas with my curly hair and so i intend to meet my gf and did my hair. I brought her to 1 of my sister's favourite saloon and did a hair rebonding. It costs me $130 for a 4hr 30mins rebonding! I swear my butt were so lenguh and the chair that i was sitting was so hot till i can fry an egg already! and this is the effect. Credits to adek bonc for doing the editting.

On the following day, after doing some cooking and housechores, and after hubby's back from work, we headed to ang mo kio again to fetch ika at her house. That evening we went to catch a pementasan, Gentarasa 2009 at NYP. We got discount for the tickets so we were excited to watch and at the same time to support our TS senior as she 1 of the main cast for that show.

I shall rate this show 6 out 10 because there wasn't much tarian and traditional costumes till the flashback scene in those kampung days. Too much acting and the hip-hop part. But 1 one thing that i enjoyed was when Suhaimi Yusoff and Khairuddin scenes as they were busting the audience into big laughter. Then after the show, bumped into Shikin, Yayah and Ena TS. I was so happy to bumped into them as we have not seen each other for quite a long time.

Its true that we really felt like as though we were united back again like those times we started TS 2 years ago, as mentioned by Yayah. The feeling of reunite makes our group spirit alive again and mesmorising those times we used to performed. We then head to Jln Kayu to have late supper, by then ika's bf join in too. So throughout our dinner cum super, we cracked jokes alot and laugh and laugh till its hard for me to swallow my food. After our meal by then it was nearly 1am, we headed to pasir ris parl lepaking and gossipping. We continued our laughters while the guys were soundly asleep. Haha! At about 3am, drove back 1 by 1 home. That was a very memorable outing with TS for me.

Last but not least, I would like to wish an advance birthday to this lil brother of mine, a Happy 11th Birthday. Da besar adek aku ni! I can still remember clearly when we brought him home from KK and I was very delighted to get a lil brother. Those times when i changed his diapers, feed him and put him to sleep and the most unforgettable moment is when he started his first crawl. How cute was that. So hope you study hard and don't be naughty at granny's house.

Sorry sorry, I was about to publish my post and adek bonc insist me of taking picture with her before she leave for work and to publish in my blog.

Ok! Happy kau dik??!!

Chao!

Our Wedding 11 April 2009

2009-05-02T12:31:00.008+08:00

My Wedding Pictures as promised..

us, signing the solemnisation letter.

hubby;angkat nikah 1 kali je eh... angkat nikah macam krete api!

songket agung outfits.

jawa outfits.

dinner outfits.

till here then, i will try to upload more if i have a time again. the downloading process really took so long and im really tired now. tired of sitting on this uncomfortable chair. and by the way, i would like to thank to those people that i invited for coming down to my wedding. wanna lay down now, see ya!

the final countdown

2009-04-05T20:37:00.005+08:00

Im left with few more days to my birthday, in fact our birthday cum our wedding day. I was just browsing one of my friend from marriage course multiply to view her wedding pictures. Her big day has run well smoothly and I am of course nervous when it comes to the solemnisation part. Im still can't able to picture it.

Anyway, I won't be blogging this week I guess. I will be working on Monday to Wednesday, 9am-6pm straight. Off on Thursday, as the Mak Andam will be coming to do my henna and Friday will be the preparation day. On Saturday which is my wedding day will be taking off the whole day from morning till 8pm straight. So I think I won't be having enough time to seat in front of the screen.

Hold back yeah! I will be back soon week after if there is a time for me to blog again. so for those who were invited, don't forget to bring along your prezzie(present) for me yeah!! haha!

Dewi Wahyuniszah
Oh ya! I would like to wish this sweet blogmate of mine an Advance Happy 19th Birthday. Her birthday falls on 7 April so im afraid that I won't be able to wish her so this is for you darling! Stay sweet and pretty always darling! Smoga murah rezeki & sihat2 selalu. :)

Till here then. Will be back soon in week after!

imy

2009-04-04T19:35:00.004+08:00

Yasmin Begum
I suddenly miss this girlfriend of mine. We were actually classmates from madrasah Abd Aleem Siddique and that time we were 11 or 12 years old. We then lost contact as she was staying in Bedok and I then switch to another mosque. And 2 years ago when I was in ITE, I came to realise that I suddenly bumped into a gerl that suddenly reminds me of my childhood friend during my madrasah times by just noticing her name. And yeap its her. I miss you bitch! I think we last met was 2007's NYP yeah? That we camwhore-ed at Bedroom the whole evening like nobody's business. Hope to hear from you soon!

and and and

this little kiddo,

Ary Aryan
I miss cuddling you baby, seeing you laugh and smile really open my heart wide towards you. And i miss laughing to myself seeing you walk and fall and dance to yourself in front of the television, watching your favourite cartoon, Barney. You must be grown up right now. I miss you alot. I miss the times I brought you out till everyone in public keep pinching your cheeks and even took a photo of you. People kept thinking that you are my son coz u really got my features i guess? Haha.. I miss you alot baby. That i really love you till I name my real son after you. Hope that sooner, I will be able to meet you again with your mom. I miss your mom too. Stay healthy and cheerful always Ryan.. Mmuackz!!

Dearest Family

2009-04-03T14:09:00.003+08:00

Its my off day today, woke up at 10am, doing housechores and bought some food. As i was doing my work, my mind keep thinking. My birthday is drawing near and its not just an ordinary birthday. It's hubby birthday too cum our wedding day. I knew its a double excitement but sometimes I have to be prepare if there were anything that when wrong before hand. I always tried to look the bright side but yet, I sometimes loose grip.

Sis, i knew what you are going through rite now. Im clearly understand that our family are breaking apart. It's true that we siblings suffer alot with what Ayah has done to us and Mama. And both of us really hated him lots. But that shouldn't be the reason for me backing out from my wedding. Remember once you told mama to just let me lead my own life? The conversation that we had at Haji Karim late at night? Doesn't mean i get married, I will just let go of you and mama. Im still the eldest of my siblings and lucky I already found a job and Im willing to help you and mama in future. He himself told me that he won't stop me from seeing you or going shopping with you. Coz he knew that no matter where we are, you, mama, yum and I are true blood family.

But no matter how heartache you are, i was upset that you post out our personal problem in public blog. You yourself knew that, there is someone reading your post and my post just to boost to people around and tagged you and me unnecessary. Whatever you post out in your blog has made everyone in this cyber world knew what we are going through. Yes, its true that you dunno how to express your feelings in front of me, so do i too. But now, 'unwanted' people has read ur entry. Never mind. To me, marriage is just a status in me, but our family will never be apart form me. I already put aside some cash money at every end month for you, yum, mama, nenek and cak ngah. Coz i knew, I really owe these people alot.

If the divorce case really goes on, just feel free to call me up or meet me somewhere whenever you want to. Aku berhak tahu ape yang berlaku dalam kluarga aku. Dia tkda larang aku jumpe kau dik. Apa lagi mama. I will try my best to drop by ang mo kio or woodlands to see you, mama and amirul. Nenek i will always visit her la.. Aku tahu mama da banyak berkorban untuk kita, memang duit mama banyak kita da pakai, tapi aku da berjanji dengan diri aku sendiri that, I will pay her back ape dia da korbankan. Tapi aku tk luahkan. Jangan anggap pernikahan aku ni, semata-mata untuk aku larikan diri. I sometimes cry to myself thinking about mama and ayah.

I miss you too adek, and i miss my family too. Just remember my promises that i wrote earlier and whatever happen, we won't be apart. Im sorry for making you pressurised even more and im sorry to amirul that he will be spending lesser time with me.. But again, you guys will always be there in my heart where ever i go.. A Thousand apologies, that 11 April has to go on..

I love you Adek.
I love you Amirul.
and
I love you Mama.

:'(

week after post

2009-03-29T15:59:00.003+08:00

I guess its almost a week since i last blog out. Yup, i've started my new job as admin executive at HDB. However I was posted to Sembawang branch. The good thing about the job is that, its flexible hours. But the boring part is, my jobscopes is to make phone calls only.. Haiz.. But nevermind, the people around were mostly malays aunty and uncles and a handful of kakak2 only.. they were friendly though.. I guess I don't have a smoking partner for now..

My marriage course has finally come to an end and i already collected my cert. Hope to keep in touch with them. I think for now i don't reaally have time to blog anymore, but i will try if im not tired. My workplace cannot access to our internet website. Haiyo. Its 2 more weeks to go for my big day. Im absolutely nervous and scared. I just don't know how it will turn out to be like. Only time will tell.

i was tattered over what had hapen ysterday.. i dn't wish to elaborate anything about this coz i don't want to remember it. it was the most unforgetable thing hapen in my life and i'll try my very best to accept this truth. i don't have any idea what will hapen next and i pray that i will be able to cope it and be patient at all time. i just wanna be alone, im still won't be able to talk to you yet. i don't know when i can. im just too heartbroken..

This is a public blog and I won't be revealing anything here. I need a rest now..

tired

2009-03-22T19:10:00.002+08:00

hello hello!! Im just back from citylink, bought a tailor pants at ClubMarc and Maybelline compact. Surveyed some solitare rings with adek bonc awhile and im off back home. Although it was only a short shopping, i already felt lethargic as i woke up early this morning.

I will be starting my new job as an Admin Executive in HDB Hub this tuesday. Wish me good lucj aiye?? ok then! Bye!

Yesterday's visit

2009-03-19T14:55:00.005+08:00

Yesterday afternoon, caught up with a last minute plan. Met hubby, Azim & wife at Admiralty. We went to Lim Chu Kang to visit our son's grave. Gratefully their son's grave was located at the same block as ours. The sun was scorching hot that we sweat furiously. Thank Allah that Ady's grave were in sight, the soil were still firm and it could be seen while we were in the car. We cleaned up a bit of growing grass and twigs and changed the white cloth. I miss my son so much. Tomorrow shall be the actual day I deliver him.. I was indeed sad, I sedekahkan Al-Fatihah and showered flowers all over his grave...

However, Azim and wife couldn't find their son's grave. So we reach out a nearby grave digger for help. He suspected that the grave has tenggelam with the grave number as well. By the look of Azim face, I can see that he was frustrated and Irah face turned down. After a 30 minutes visit there, headed to the nearest coffeeshop and had a quick drink. Car-ed to Sembawang awhile to pay the car rent then to Admiralty again as hubby and Azim wanted to meet YanSpec awhile to give my invitation card. Chilled at sembawang park, watched people down there fishing, then off to SGH to fetch Azim parents. In the hospital, chatted with Irah endlessly and we could feel how incommon we are. Only she and i knows it. At about 10.30pm, headed home.

&&&&&&&&&

Nurhidayah Ishak
I would like to wish this best gf of mine a Happy 19th Birthday. Wish you all the best and catch up soon keyhs? I miss you alot la minah! Mmuackzz!

Im currently in Ang Mo Kio, sending my lil bro home. Last minute again, my mum planned to go to Bugis as family this evening. So I will be sleeping over here for a night. Maybe, maybe, hubby will meet me at night with sis and go fishing. Duno yet. Still planning. Tomorrow then I will be carrying lots of left over things here to Woodlands. Yup2.. Till here then!

Illusions

2009-03-15T15:09:00.010+08:00

Time flies really fast without noticing it, March is going to come to an end. My marriage course is going to end soon next week and im missing the times whereby all couples gathered together and had a good laughter throughout the whole evening. Im really greatful for attending this course as i get a chance to learn something and share different2 experiences with 1 another. Gotta some plans this May with them, a trip to KL maybe?

Well, next month will be my big day but before that, i would like to congratulate Eekin, for her engagement day. Im sorry that i grabbed your photo Kin, cause i like your make up! Haha! Congrats gerl!

So much of hearing marriage and engagement news. Next I would like to share something that i receive in my inbox earlier on. Take a look and try these test!

find the faces!

What do you see here?
Do you see the word "LIFT"?
Or, a bunch of black splotches?

A face? ... Or, the word 'liar'?

Can you spot 7 horses in this picture?

Good Luck!

Past n future of ite

2009-03-09T12:09:00.006+08:00

Last friday, went a short interview at HDB Hub. I tell you it was my first time interview session with 3 interviewers interviewed me. Luckily they were friendly and easy to communicate. After that, actualy plan was to meet my ite girls at 12 noon, so when i was about to head to the mrt station, Einn texted me to meet up at 12.30pm instead. So i went to the toilet to waste time to touch up my make up. And she texted again to meet at 1pm as she was having a stomachache! I was like, What the hell?? I hate goin out alone coz i will tend to be so slenge. Then i waste my time agian at accessories shop and went to smoke.

Here's the silly part of me, I was so precautious when it comes to smoking as i don't want to get fine again. So i went to a smoking area which i passed by the old chung kee and taka jewelry. Then suddenly i changed my mind to smoke under the void deck nearby but there were too many apeks and nyonyas so i indeed stupidly turn 1 big round and i end up passed by the same old chung kee and taka jewelry again without realising it. I then notice that this chinese good looking sales guy from taka jewelry looking at me weirdly. Paiseh seh!! I end up smoking at the smoking area where that chinese guy noticed me turning 1 big round!

Yada yada, so I reached Yew Tee at 12.45pm, waited for Einn have a another stick and then waited for our all time late comer, Ms Zana. we then had luch at McDonalds and we chatted about our past days in school. At the same time i gave them my wedding card and Matno's letter. They read and happy to hear good news from him. We realised that 2 years has passed so quickly eversince we last rushed to school in 2007. Gawd, we really miss our ite life truck lots! We're the only class that were so united as one regardless of our race. Sadly Yayah wasn't there if not we will be extra kecoh. But i do miss this indian gf of mine whom i called her Shalini Mamak! I miss disturbing her indian telo of speaking. Haha!

Muhammad Nuur aka Matno

Dearest friend, 2 years has pass since we last met in ite. Although you are being placed to somewhere far away from us, we, your dearest classmates will never forget you and remember you always. We are glad that we received good news from you and was delighted to know your superb results in ite and in KBC. Hope that your review will be turn out well and we shall meet you again in July on your realese day. Lots of surprises shall fall upon you the day of your realese. Wishing you all the best and may this fate helps to change and upgrade yourself to a better person. Insyaallah.

Wk updates

2009-03-05T21:59:00.003+08:00

Remember i posted out regarding my meeting with my mak andam the other week, yeah, its confirm that we rented a total of 5 outfits which is:
-white & black with tudung(nikah)
-pink songket agung(after nikah)
-brownish gold jawa outfit(bertandang)
-purple kebaya modern(photo shoot)&
-golden black-red gown(dinner cum cutting cake)
Complete with another package which consists of henna art, body scrub and potong andam. BUT the sad thing is, she told to shorten my hair till the bra lengh as my hair is too long for her to do the sisik rambut. Sob2.. :( Im still considering. PLUS, my wedding invitation card are ready in my hands now. Simple yet delicate. Its a peach-color rectangle card, with a bride and groom picture at the cover page furnish with a fragrance scent.

I met these 2 boncs siblings of mine last Monday as sis already promised my lil brother to town with me. Kesian pulak kn dia.. It was my sister treat that day. She treated us lunch at far east, bought lil brother a pair of bubblegum sandles and a Jeep pants. Where else sis treated me another pair of my all time favourite,
M)phosis slippers, and i ketuk her a blusher. Haha.. 2 hours later, i rushed to Admiralty back to meet hubby as we are late for the marriage course. But we met Fifie and her hubby on the way at woodlands and car-ed to Bukit Batok.

So people who have my number, beep me for my invitation cards aite. Gd nite!

lst wk

2009-02-26T21:52:00.002+08:00

My first day of marriage course was superb and double the excitement. We made new friends and shared different experiences. There were a total of 12 couples and the row that hubby sat with were so kecorable. Some of the guys that hubby mixed with were very socialised and open. He was so chatty and made people laugh out loud. The course was very open and interesting.I made few friends there, some were already married, some were expecting their new born child, and some were there to go through the course for the cert purpose just like me. haha!

*her mouth is getting bitcher and bitcher. i can't stand it so much as her words were really harsh and it really cuts me down. although i love her, she keeps on looking on the bad side of me. i can't tolerate her nimore. but i knew she helped me alot. but what can i do? i tried to be as patient as possible, but im a human being who sometimes, tends to blow up. i hope she will stop. and give some peace.*

Updates

2009-02-20T14:50:00.003+08:00

Last wednesday was my first day of work which was located at Bedok South Secondary. I can't believe im stepping back into a secondary school again. Haha! Niwae niwae, my group were the first to set the laptops and printers up, first to finish the transactions and also the first to pack up. Mind you, i tend to go hay wire the momment I want to fix and dismental the wires and usb ports and cables!

BUT, the bad news was, the operation was a total failure throughtout the entire schools in Singapore. If im not wrong, there were technical fault in the system and so my big boss have to rush here and there to negotiate the matter with LTA and MOE. Indeed, our job have to be delayed till next week. Sigh*.

By the way, on the 16th hubby and I went to ITE Bishan to meet my dance group in evening. Went there to discuss about dance performances for my wedding. So meet up with some my fellow dancers and intructor. And yeah, I will be joining them for the Trai'rat Seni production which will be launching end of March. Im looking forwward to it as I miss performing so much!

Tomorrow will be the opening of my marriage course at PPIS. But before that, will be meeting with my mak andam for choosing of my wedding outfits. Will be taking up 3 outfits for my big day.

Okok, I want to eat now!

PT KTM Resort, Tagged

2009-02-09T13:52:00.024+08:00

Hubby dropped by to give me some details regarding this place, PT KTM Resort at Batam. It was his father offer for us to accomodate there around June this year. Although its only in Batam, but i love the scenery of the beach and the clear sea. Here are the pictures i've downloaded.

PT KTM Resort @ Batam.

&&&

I was tagged by Yayah TS .
directions : Once u've been tagged , u have to write a note with 16 random things, facts,habits or goals abt you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged listing their names.
RANDOM THINGS
1. I was reading yayah's blog and she tagged me this survey.
2. I woke up early today, as my granny was really2 sick. :(
3. Cooked sambal tumis udang for dinner.
4. I've not yet eaten since morning but i ain't feeling hungry. Really wanna loose some weight.
FACTS
5. pampered
6. materialistic at times
7. soft-hearted
8. big passion in business administration
HABITS
9. I tend to daydream and lock myself in the room when im having some problems.
10. I comb my long hair most of the time whenever i felt bored.
11. I often play guns and legos with my lil brother at home in AMK.
12. and i love playing with my cat Kiki here at my granny house.
GOALS
13. insyallah last long with my husband to be, my family and my new family.
14. to get a car when i turned, 21.
15. may my wedding run smoothly this april.
16. & travel ALOOOOTTT!

tag to: adek bonc, dewi, chez, eein, sheila, wahidah, alysha, iica and idahC

Letter frm fren

2009-02-06T20:51:00.005+08:00

Woke up very very early at 7.45am, called hubby to wake him up and off to shower. We went to Ngee Ann City as i had to sign a contract regarding my temporary job. So i will be attending training next week. I will be given a laptop and its other gadgets for to perform my work. I hope i will be posted to schools that are nearby to where I am staying right now.

After the contract thingin has settled, train-ed down back to novena to KK Hospital. I had an appoinment at 1.45pm for my PAP Smear. Before that, we had lunch first at long john silver, had a long talk about each of us family matters and then suddenly there was a lion dance performance at the second level. Although i have not finish my lunch, hubby went outside to watch first. I don't understand why he got too excited when the drums started to play.

Bus-ed to KK Hospital and had my check up done. My doctor said that im ok and gave me some pills. So my next appoinment will be in 6 months time. After everything has done, took 980 to Sembawang, and train-ed home.

Valentines Day is in the corner, and im sure most of my couple friends are eager to celebrate it. As for me, i kinda of laid back as me hubby and myself were busy preparing for our big day and at the same time, saving money. We will be going out, but I won't be expected too much from him.

ok, da penat nk baring!

Missing my babes.

2009-02-02T13:36:00.006+08:00

Its been a long time since we last saw each other. My KSTS girls, i assume we last went out was the day we went to bazaar geylang on bulan puasa? yeah.. so long already. Yesterday night Ayu msg me saying,"babe, mane kau menghilang? senyap je.." haha.. i was surprised. I wanted to reply but im too sleepy already. We'll catch up soon keyh babes?

& & to my own girfrens of my clas IOG 07, i really miss you guys too.. although there is some miscommunications between some of us, but deep down im missing you girls.

And to Adek Bonc, im glad that you get to go to Clementi Campus this April doing Busines Studies in Customer Services. Its way better than doing Sports Management. But PLEASE, behave yourself once you step into ITE life. Many influences may come and hopefully you won't be adrift. Kau tu senang buat kawan, jgn salah kawan eh! and jangan nk cabut2 skola! Tapi mana kau da blajar kat skola dulu kau nk cabut, cabutlah.. aslkn attendance maintain 95% sudahlah. Haha!

.

So i will be starting work on 16 February. But i have to attend the training first. And yeah, my lil brother called me 2 days ago, asking me out secretly with adek bonc one day. How cute was that! 11 years old brother asking his 19 years old sister out. haha.. I don't know if its confirm or not, and adek bonc! yum says kau nk blikn dia kasut Nike?? haha.. pape just beep me and please inform me early. Btw, adek bonc, are you sure you wanna do a chalet on your birthday?? Any plans bilang aku ehk...

Alrite, cooking time......

Forget

2009-02-01T16:48:00.002+08:00

I actually wanna blog over something but suddenly granny nagged to me over some issues. So indeed, i forgotten what to blog out. I think my ears are getting swollen soon! ( adek bonc i think you know why) so yeah, i forgotten what to blog orady. Pissed!

Niwae niwae, i already found a job, doing admin in schools transferring data for students transportation. Ok den.

Chao!

CNY

2009-01-26T18:02:00.006+08:00

Im suddenly miss my best primary school girlfriends of mine. Chez and Nelly. Hope to meet you guys soon!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Last Saturday was our 16th monthsniversary, met hubby and i decided to go to IKEA. I don't know why suddenly i wanted to go there as i never been to the Tampines outlet before. While on our way to the MRT station, i bumped into my ITE friend, Nano. Get to know that she worked at Woodland Mart. Exchange numbers, and then headed to Woodland interchange. Took 168, bus-ed to tamp. We surveyed our new bed and we thought of having a wooden bed instead of metal bed.

While surveying, someone called my name and i was surprised that it was Hawa. She's my ITE classmate but she was only there in Bishan for 1 month. But i was surprised that she still remember me. She pulled me to the counter and Radiah was working there too. So both of them worked there actually and we chatted for awhile. Again, we exchanged numbers and to my ITE classmates who read my blog, Hawa send her regards to all of you.

After a long walk at Ikea, headed to Eastpoint Mall to have dinner. I had my all time favourite food, seafood crispy noodles. We then walked to Tampines Street 11, talked about someone, and lucky her that we never bumped to each other. Haha! Took bus 39, bus-ed to Yishun. Then mrt-ed home.

I feel like cutting my hair to my shoulder length and had it perm. Should i, or shouldn't?

ANTM Winner

2009-01-23T14:42:00.003+08:00

I would like to say congrats to WHITNEY THOMPSON as she has won America's Next Top Model despite of her plus size figure. I really admire her self confidence and ability to overcome the obstacles and critisism by people about her body throughout her teenage years. But from my opinion, she really is, pretty. With her volumptious figure i would say, it really adds up to her natural beauty. Looking forward to next ANTM Cycle 11.

The Reunion and etc.

2009-01-22T13:04:00.002+08:00

Monday 19 January 2009

Woke up early in the morning at 7am, spent an hour to dress up. Im like a totaly muslimah gerl with my tudung and muslim clothing. Hubby fetched me downstairs at 9am and car-ed to ROMM. I was like can't imagine what will happen next when i reach there.

Reached there at 10am, and my father was still couldn't be seen. Stayed in the car for half an hour, and then we went to sit inside. About 15 minutes later, he came. We quickly fill up the form and for an interview with the Ustaz upstairs. i was indeed nervous coz we might not know what he will ask.

After hubby went out from the room, it was my turn. Thankfully i don't have to go in with my father. And THANKFULLY, the Ustaz does not ask to much questions. He only want to confirm about the details given in the form and swear to him that whatever details given are true. Next was my father, i don't wanna be curious about what he talked to the Ustaz as he spent about more than 10 minutes in that room. All i know is that, the registration has settled.

Nelly text-ed me to meet her and Chez at around 2pm. but before that, went to PPIS Bukit Batok to collect my Khursus documents and bought some breakfast and Quran for my gubahan. Had breakfast at hubby's house and then fetched my girls. Nelly and Chez planned of continuing their studies in Simei so sent them there for a while. After which, we dropped by to Pusara Abadi to visit my son's grave. Then had a lunch at causeway point.

We spent most of our time rounding as i wasn't in a mood to go out with my clothings like that. So we fetched hubby's sister for a while then had dessert at chong pang. After which we headed home. But seriously, throughout the journey in the car, i can't stop laughing with Chez's crappy mouth!

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Official plan was to go to expo to check out the wedding exhibition. But i cancelled it as we don't have much time. And for the very first time, i managed to go out with my primary girlfriends. I contacted Nelly recently and i asked her out. And we tagged Chez along too. So car-ed to ang mo kio, fetched Nelly & Rohaizad, then fetched Chez at hougang. We had our lunch first at Jln Kayu, i can't stop laughing with the way Chez talked to the person who took our order. Her boyish crappy behavior still remained like the same in our years in primary school.

Then headed to Marina Square to check out my wedding heels. There were not much variety there, so we headed to Taka instead. I was captivated with this black shimmering heels, i forgotton the name of the brand, and it cost, $119 after discount. but chez told me to survey other places first. So Nelly told me to check out at Isetan Wisma, and Chez recommended me a Guess heels. I was surprised that Guess were having a promotion and i finally bought a Guess black-gold heels for the price of only, $82.50! We was actually very noisy down there as i Nelly and Chez were like my bride's maid wearing for me the heels. *Pictures will update soon.

Surveyed some jewellery set a while, then we had our dinner at Bedok Corner. We blanje-ed them and spent our dinner time on talking and bitching. Then its time for Haizad to go back to work, so we went to Nelly's house first, for him to collect his bike and we headed to Causeway Point as Nelly wanted to buy her stuff. Had dessert at Woodland Mart. What i meant as dessert is, my primary school friends and i had a trademark as we love eating Ice Kacang. While eating, a sudden conversation popped out from Chez mind:

Chez: Eh korg ingat tk dulu kte kecik2 slalu berbual pasal kahwin2 bla tgh mkn ice kacang?

Nelly & Me: Pasal kahwin ape seh??

Chez: Ala.. dulu ingat tk kte berbual sape agak nya antara kte smue kahwin dulu...

Nelly: Oh oh!! Aku ingat!

Me: Blurr.

Chez & Nelly: Ni la! Intan kahwin dulu! Hahaha!

About 5 minutes later then i remembered that we use to talk about who will marry first when we were little. And i can't believe im the first one to get marry first. Haha. How fast time flies. After dessert, bidded Nelly's bf goodbye, then we sent Chez and Nelly home. I really enjoyed my day with them and im glad that we had reunite.

Earplug

2009-01-17T13:06:00.004+08:00

tell me how long can i tolerate all this shit? all this talkings that never seem

to stop. everyday, every minute of my breath, its all about ME.

tell me how sure are you that every single word that came out from your mouth

are true. or maybe will it hapen like as though you can predict MY FUTURE.

& tell me when can all of you stop this talkings and give me PEACE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND why is there for you to compare me and my other siblings or others

about my life?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND why MONEY captures most into your eyes.

& I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY can't i make a decision on MY OWN.

every evening, i shed tears by the window recalling what people say about me. like they say,

"what's past, is past". but why keep barging on again? my heart breaks when you compared me

and sis, that she's much much better than me. that she knows how to earn money,

she knows how to give her money to her parents, that she is much

more cleverer than you. much more reliable than you.

than what's the point of me being here?? u should just ask her stay with you than keeping me. same goes to another person, what's the point of you saying that you love me

when you walked out without a word when i needed you the most??

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

at least im not rude to you, i know how to cook, eventhough i don't earn much but i did my part

to look after your child like i used to. i cleaned your bed, i listened to your problems, i

don't asked much or demand much from you. & i SCORED WELL in studies throughout my years in secondary school and in ITE. i DID NOT FLUNG my examinations. or just because

i rather quiet and never yelled back to both of you, you can just keep barging

on my life and start to compare me all the time?

IT'S TOO LATE to say that you love me or care for me. coz when i were in state of struggling

for my life, where were all of you? till i depended on someone outside, whom i found a person that see me cry for all of you. and now you all blame that i cared that person much more that my own flesh and blood. i felt myself USELESS everytime this talkings start to play into

my ears. No one see how much i suffered inside over different different matters that is happening to my surroundings. you all can say that im a WILD CHILD. but hopefully you all shall see this WILD CHILD will be looking after you 1 day.

WHATEVER REMARKS on me, its up to you to decide. i am who i am. in other words, this is the reason why i chose to live on my own for now. coz there is no point living with many people

but people keeps on talking about me. i won't utter a single objection to all of you coz i still have the RESPECT towards all of you. all i want you all to see is,

YOUR WORDS made me TURN LIKE THIS.

10 Jan

2009-01-12T20:45:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday went hubby's mum birthday celebration with a few other birthday babies. Haha! So the party was held at Obek Yah's house. Lots of nice nice food there and karaoke-ed whole day. And damn, hubby's anak sedara were alot. But my favourite was this little gerl who people called her bulat. She's got a boncet stomach but yet adorable and she keeps playing with my hair. Karaoke-ed with Seri, Shikin, both Kak Imah & Kak Sarimah. After the kenduri, when everyone were already there, we cut the cake. I will update the pictures if i can from any of his relatives.

And finally, i received a call from Prudential for a second interview. So i went just now and hopefully i will get the position. Nothing much to say these few days as i kinda no mood to blog.

To Dearest Dewi,

How was your results??? How many points and what scholl are you intend to go?? Are still working at SP? Kalau i get that Prudential job, bleh la jumpe kat sama building.. Leceh ar tkda tagboard, tk bleh comment2.. hit me back yarh, u can just reply me at your blog or msg me. U have my number rite? Looking forward to hear you soon!!

Mmuackkzz!!

Tag

2009-01-07T13:46:00.003+08:00

Tagged by Yayah TS.

Q: Have you ever think negative things about the person you love but in the end it turn out to be the other way round?
- a lot of times but somtimes it really happens.
Q: Are you afraid of what lies ahead of you?
- definitely! cause we might not know what will the outcome wil be.
Q: Would you change yourself for the person you love?
- a little, if he is serious with me.
Q: Do you believe in Love?
- okok..
Q: How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
- i've waited for 2yrs before, but nothing happen. So no point waiting!
Q: If the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
- maybe, i will just like him as a friend.
Q: Is there anything that made you unhappy these days,y?
- yup2.. many many things hapen. Too much to say it out..
Q: Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you're around the guy/girl you like?
- always.
Q: Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
- of course!
Q: Who are currently most important people to you?
- my late son.
Q: Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't?
- yup, but that was the past.
Q: Are you happy with your life?
- i will say, 50/50.
Q: Would you give your all in a relationship?
- nope. but only when i decided that i have faith in him.. but still, ... idk.
Q: What type of friends do you like?
- someone who got the same attitude and in common with me. haha!
Q: Do you often wish there was something you could change?
- hah! so many things i wished for!
Q: What will you look at first when you first set eye on a girl/guy?
- character wise..
Q: If your lover betrayed you, what will be your reaction?
- things that people might find it stupid will be the first thing i do. but if i don't have the guts, i shall just club and hangout till late with my friends. still, the sad feeling will remain in me wherever i go. :(

Tag : Eein, Adek Bonc, Dewi, Alysha, Wahidah and others who read my blog. :)

31 Dec 08

2009-01-03T12:34:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 2009!

Hubby fetched me at around 4pm, chilled awhile at Sembawang Park and saw his uncle there. Then off to Orchard to window shop. I checked out Bebe's latest tops and im soo loving it. Survey-ed some heels and stilettos at Charles & Keith, Aldo and other tops at Dorothy Perkins and Guess handbags at Takashimaya. Had MacDonalds for dinner in the car, enjoying the aircon after a long hot stroll in town. Its still too early too wait for adek bonc and i decided to go bugis to window shop again.

I bulged into another Guess handbags shop at Bugis junction and then to Carlo Rino Handbags at BHG. I must say that BHG has nothing much except for the perfumes,lingerie and cosmetics. Its already 8pm by then, thought of just chilled there, but hubby took me round about at Clementi and Bukit Timah. Weird right?? We joked around in the car, singing broken lyrics till 11pm. Headed to Bugis carpark again and adek bonc informed us last minute that her working area has no road block. Fetched her at Marina Square and the road was already jam people were running cats and dogs to catch the fire works.

We manage to contact Sheena and as we are about to leave Marina, the fireworks started and we manage catch a glimpse in the car. Drivers and riders hon their vehicles like as thought there's a party in the road. Adek bonc was a totally a 'jakun freak' in the car! Off to Bukit Panjang fetched Sheena and then to East Coast meet Kak Sarimah. I was shocked that it was jam too down there. We chilled and laugh around there as Kak Sarimah's friends were bunch of jokers.

Last destination, headed to Geylang lorong 10 to have a super late supper. We reached there at around 3.30am I somehow had an argument with the roti prata man as he mixed up my orders and serve it late. We then bidded goodbye at 4.20am

Day before eve 2009

2008-12-30T20:58:00.004+08:00

I had an interview at valley point around 2pm just now. Hubby drove me there and luckily we found our way. Here's a story that i wanted to share. This is my most, scaryiest interview i ever had. The position that i went for interview was doing secretarial work to the manager in one of the finance&insurance company. however, the interviewer was super super kerek! Luckily she's not a malay woman.

She wore a thigh-length dress with black 4 inch stilletos. I envy her stilletos a lot. Till i didn't realise that she was my interviewer. I've forgotten what she ask, but i clearly remember the way she answer me. It was like, 'then, huh-huh, what else, thats all?' Through out my interview experience, i never encounter a kerek interviewer before! But luckily she's pretty though.. Hope that i get this position soon..

My blog has been quite wordy and boring.. No pictures updated as sis is the one holding on to the camera. However, tomorrow is New Year Eve and will meeting adek bonc after her work and will be catching up with my gerls soon. If there's pictures to be updated that i shall post it. Isyak prayers!

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T13:00:00.001+08:00

Its Christmas Eve today and at the same time its our 15 months anniversary. Will be meeting hubby later and most probably will be heading to town. I soo wanna window shop! After so long terperap at home!

I woke up early today, did the housechores and now waiting for Cik Elly to come back to do the cooking. After cooking, do my prayers and meet hubby at admiralty. Can't wait to see him later as he has been busy working these days. The problem thing is, I don't know what to where. Its raining here and i hope town will be fine.

And yeah, 2 days ago Adek bonc slept over here and we did took some pictures. To check out the pictures, just view her blog. Haha!! Till here then, wishing Merry Christmas to all my non-muslim friends!

Zoo Outing

2008-12-22T14:12:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to the Singapore Zoological Garden with granny, hubby, aunty-uncle and granny's cousin from Melaka. Woke up early in the morning, prepare some breakfast and fetched hubby downstairs. We reach there at 12noon exactly and the place was very crowded. Which then i realised that, it was Sunday. Many families and tourist went there and the queue at the ticket booth was super super long.

Granny sat on a wheelchair, and pity hubby as he have to push granny throughout the whole outing. haha! Granny was surprised that the animals were freely open as she taught that all wild animals were kept in cages. Hubby purposely pushed her nearer to the bushes and she was like screaming afraid that the animals might just jump out. Then off to the Kidzworld Splash for the kids to have a swim after the long hot scroll. Me and hubby settled granny there, and then we went to the reptile garden on our own. Along the way met Kak Ana,(hubby's cousin)and her family and she congratulate us for our wedding.

Nothing much at the snakes area, then we went back to the Kidzworld which by then we were pissed with granny. She wanted to sit at the shaded area so much which is at KFC. But the place were fully occupied and she insist. At about 5pm, we left the zoo.
Headed to Al-Ameen(woodgrove)for dinner and then van-ed home.

Hubby chilled out here for awhile to check out some bridal stuff in the internet. Had a talk with my youngest uncle and then left home. There were no pictures updated as my digi camera is at ang mo kio. Till here then, going to bathe now. Haha!

Quick post

2008-12-20T10:39:00.002+08:00

Its just a quick post today, as my granny's house were upside down. Granny's cousin from Melaka came here last night and lots of food me and Cik Elly have to prepare. The kitchen is in a mess and it's an eyesore to me. Granny's cousin had 5 kids and its killing me now. They were so noisy and they ran here and there. They will be staying here for 2 nights!

Regarding yesterday tagboard, i just can't stand anymore with people tagging like one after another. Thus, those names in the tagboard were unfamiliar to me. But to those who concerns me, i really appreciate alot though i don't really know you guys. So after much thought, i decided to remove my tagboard as some people kinda misused it! Let the better be as im not involve and there's nothing to do with me. If they wanted us so much, or really want to pull my hubby so much, why bother me? Let them settle by themselves. Hating or gossiping me will just make me famous.

Haiz... i've been loosing weight this month. The pills that Kak Mawar bought for me is really effective! My tummy is flattening and i lose some appetite to eat. Can't wait for next week as i had rewang at hubby's relative wedding and Kak Imah & Abg Man's solemnisation this 27th..

Last but not least, i miss my night outs with my gerls and i don't think so i can make it for Ernidah's pit on this 22nd. Sorry gerl! Catch up soon!!

Bottled feelings

2008-12-17T15:30:00.002+08:00

Im just dissappointed that my blog and my tagboard has exposed to all kinds of conversations with many different types of people that i don't know. Its my blog, i have the rights to publish what i feel as whenever i like. People might find me minah or what, but to people who are close to me knows how my personal life is. Im just a simple girl with sensitive feelings. Im soft hearted and im sick. I don't want to publish what sickness i had. But some people know.

Problems after one another. People who talk or bad mouth about me doesn't know how pressurizing i was. Together with my illness; i have no confident if i can face this. Both me and hubby had changed to be better, but no one appreciate it. He might be rascal or cause problems to others in the past, but he has change. I keep on eye on every deed that he make. And i never before snatched him from anybody else. People can just bring up fake stories to pull me down.

Im sick and tired of what people been saying bout me and my life. I almost give up. I had no families to support me. Sometimes i felt like ending my life which i half way did. My granny have been comparing me and my sister so many times, and also with other girls she knew. That they were so much better than me. Every word she said will just drop my self-esteem, and it really pierce me in the heart. Plus the threathening that the hate tagger gives everyday.

I felt like im the victim to all this. Why? Why me? I don't want to end up in IMH. I had my pills with me but it doesn't go away.. Why can't people just let me live??.. Im totally depressed and mentally hurt. Why can't people just give me the chance to change to be better??

I just feel like my marriage causes red-eyed to people. Be it family members nor others outside. But i believe in whatever i do and it has to be go on. Its only the support is not there for me..

You can call the police or lawyers to get whatever you think its yours. But im not involve in whatever cases you shall bring up. Its between you, him and his family. Or maybe u can shoot my name up to the police. By all means. I have my own ways to rectify whatever cases you bring up about me. I might be young and soft hearted, but im still able to stand for myself.

Helpless

2008-12-16T12:31:00.002+08:00

Im like as if drowning in tears. Struggling so hard to let myself breathe the calm air. My mind were shut and i don't know what to do or what to think. I just need space, peace and an opportunity for me to live on my own, my way..

As usual i woke up early in the morning everyday, sent Dewi cuzzie to tuition, bought some breakfast and then do some house chores. Together with everyday non-stop lecturing by granny bout my life. Im in a mist of giving up my life here, feels like going away where nobody knows where i am. I just want to be alone.. I don't want to trouble anybody else in my entire family. I just wanna go away...

Every night, I think of my past and future life might be.. I learn alot and i don't understand why they just can't see the change of me. The change of becoming to a better person. Sometimes, i miss my hommie, the times when my siblings and i were still awake late at night, playing games with my lil brother, having late supper with my rebellious sister, and squeezing my mum's bre**t. Haha! tats too much! Now things over here were so much different. I had no one to talk to unless my Indonesian aunty were around. I cried most of the time whenever im alone, and counting the days to the day that i shall regain my happiness.

Haiz... i don't know how long can i tolerate and at the same time, thinking of where can i stay for like another 3 months..

Home sick

2008-12-12T22:58:00.002+08:00

Currently staying at granny's place. Most probably till the day of my solemnisation. Down with too many problems at home and miscommunications. Its tough but im trying to cope and learn it. Though living with emptyness and unsecure. I can't explained how much im pressurized right now, and sometimes it pulls me down too much. Especially my emotional side. I cried every night in granny's room, praying for a better tomorrow. I hope i will be able to go on strong with full tolerance. Sometimes, i miss my hommie.. How i can live freely there, had siblings to talk to. Over here its pretty much different. I need a job asap to help myself in my expenditures and unpaid bills. This shall be a new beginning for me and live in a simple religious life. I love my new set of telekung which my granny bought for me. Changing into new me, with heart full of loneliness, pain and unsecure...

Geylang Trip

2008-12-09T17:45:00.005+08:00

(Tagboard Ignored) Went Joo Chiat last sunday with hubby, Kak Mawar, Kak Dyana and the kids. Kak Mawar came to amk fetched me and hubby to rent a car at amk industrial park then went to her crib to fetch the rest. Baby Ryan was grown up already, he's bigger than his sister, Sarah. Feed hubby and Baby Ryan first, then off we went to Joo Chiat. They wanted to buy some cloths and tempah there at the same time. Their eldest sister will be getting married this end of the month so their there to buy some preparations.

The sisters will be wearing purple on that day. As they were choosing their stuff, i noticed many passerbys and shoppers loves to play with Baby Ryan and his sister. Maybe because he is chubby and fair.. I never took any photos throughout the outing as my digi cam's battery was flat. Then Kak Mawar bought me a pink transparent clothes from Bimla for me to wear on Kak Imah solemnisation. After which, they tempah their clothing with all measurements taken like about 2hrs ater, hubby and Abg Acit(Kak Mawar's hubby)arrived. Next we headed to one of the jewellery shop at level 1. Haha, me like usual, jump with excitement and pushed hubby in. I actually prefer gold more to white golds. I took a look at some rings and i decided to change my mind of taking the SK jewelery. haha. I think i fell in love with one of the 18 carat ring at that shop. Yup2. Im so want that ring!

We then walked into a jamu shop, and to my surprised, Kak Mawar bought for me a medication called 'Shiffa'. Its good for woman after labour actually. They did so much of shopping till they never realise its already 8pm. Next we went to vivo as Abg Acit wanted to but a pair of shoes and a top over there. We went into separate ways at vivo. We went into Courts where they bought a DVD set and a Hi-Fi set for the price of less than $400. Its better to shop during Christmas season seyy.. We meet up back than off to Jalan Kayu for late dinner cum supper. During the journey to Jalan Kayu, i was shocked by the way Baby Ryan superb active. I can't believe he was like head-banging in the car while hubby played an Indonesia band song. Haha.. He was so damn cute and i regret that i can't took a video of him.

The moment we got there, Kak Dyana ordered a total of 9 dish for us. Our stomachs were so full that we have to packed up some unfinised food. We finished our supper at around 12am after which we sent Kak Mawar, Kak Dyana and the kids home. I thanked them for the treat, kissed the kids and bidded them goodbye. Car-ed home at 1am.

Tags Replied
ainsadad: hey! how are eu? thanks for linking me. heard eu are going to get married by 2009? all the best ya! stay pretty always!
intan: hey! Im fine here.. Thought you duno me.. Yup2 insyallah bulan 4 ni, right after our birthday. ni mesti dgr dari titi atau roy kn?.. thanks for the wishes though!
Whatmyname♥: Blog ni, M E R E P E K N Y E.
intan: tk payah nk tukar2 name la ehk. Klau da tahu merepek, knp baca? Da merepek sangat jgn visit blog ni agi k. Get lost and MYOB with ur small boy. Bitch.
marnie: hey! stay cool n jus heckcare wit tat hatetaggers. lamer2 drng yg bingit sndr kalau kaudiam..haha! biar dier penat sndr..sampai bler kan...anw wish u all the best yah in 2009!
intan: Hehe.. thanks for ur wishes marnie.. yup2, hate taggers are like that. I also duno what they gain of doing this.

and my tagboard continued to flood with stupid hate tagger again and i refuse to keep it. What ever it is, to the hate tagger, try harder as nothing shall falls us apart and there are always people who supports our relationship. What's the use of being strong at words but weak in actions? So yeah, TRY HARDER

Reflect

2008-12-06T12:29:00.004+08:00

My dearest blogmates,

As you can see my hate tagger gave lots of stories in my tag board yesterday about my hubby. I assume she's the most hated hate tagger i guess; coz her fake stories were growing and growing in my blog. well, i knew she's someone who people say, "omg its her! beware of her! she's huge brave and bitchy bitch here!" so what? i didn't matter she's huge or what. She's just huge because of her fats and her mouth. U know what mates, she make out fake stories to me, just to make me and hubby fight alot and make me give up in him. But do you think its gonna happen bitch? And your fake stories, u think all of us here believe?? Everyone knows that im getting married to a guy that im faithfully in love whom you once cheated him before over a mat motor or other matreps something like that. And my closest gerls knows who you are and what are you into me. Well, you put some shame for me in my tagboard so do i. In here, my own personal blog, i put some shame to you. Get a life ar bitch. U have no other people to bombard izit? Or are you running out of guys? U're turning 20 soon and you behave worst then me, whom you called YP once upon a time. But the real thing is, whose YP? Isit me, you or you and your small boy?

I never talk or blog about issues bout gangsterism or rioting among 'baju' and other 'baju'. Its so the zaman dulu.. but since u started it first, then i began it too. U know well how is yunus character is. Stakat berbual atau tengok tkkn uat die jatoh. Kau nk, dtg kat dia and tgk sape jatoh. Klau dia jatoh kau da cukup baik bagi dia. Im sure kau slalu dgr line ni dulu bla kau maceh sama die. So u wanted it soo much, yunus tk da heran ngn getak kau. Lagi2 ngn budak2 Jam YP kau. Kau nk jual baju kat blog aku, kau amek ni. Tk da sape2 heran ngn ape2 baju YP kau yang maceh tk cukup umur!

If you still wanna disturb me here and talks about me and yunus, i will publish stories about yourself in my blog to hit you back.Peduli ape kau 20 tahun? Tapi perangai mcm YP agi uat pe? Tk abes2 nk mengikis laki aku yg kau kata ape?, long dick? Biar la dia ade long dick, kau tk puas kat ngn small boy kau punya? Kau nk rosak kn majlis aku nanti? Silakn. Kau tahu family sape kau cuba sentuh tengok ape jadi. And this is my blog, i can say what ever i want.

Pesanan dari yunus
Come show me your Omega boys. Seribu batu tkkn ku lari. Klau yg dtg jam yp sori ar tk interested nk kasi ar masih setahun jagung. Kita tgk sape world peace k. im fuckin sure knw mana jantan ko lepak so try me k zuraidah. Ex ko shah yg tua nk mampos aku berani gegar pe lagi ni budak hingus. Nvr did intan penah kutok ko bt cara ko la uat dia kuar kn kata kesat. reminder, u mess wit the best than shall die like the rest.

Get a life, FAT BITCH!

Hate-tagger

2008-12-05T20:47:00.005+08:00

I always came across with hate taggers in some of my friends blog saying bad things about them. Trying to break their relationship apart and putting shame towards them in their blogs. And guess what, now its my turn. Haha.. Credits to THE EX.

THE EX
Hey fat bitch! WELCOME TO MY BLOG. First thing first, i knew who you are, as u came across in hubby and mine friendster. I don't care where u got my blog url, coz i don't even give a damn. Live a life ar bitch! U said u meet him? U said i called him but the true fact is i don't even gave a call this afternoon it was he the one that called me first. U gave different description of what he wears to work and worst of all, u said my service was not good enough?? haha.. Kalau tk bagus tkkn tk kluar anak satu kan... What a great lies u got there. Easy to say la eh, all this FAT lies u created are all based on your jealousy as im getting married to your ex-bf that u cheated him before. Well, my wedding were all well-planned with both parties, and now u wanna show up ur stories?? Its too late and they won't be entertaining you gerl. Why don't you just take good care of ur BIG FAT WHITE ASS and ur 16 YEAR OLD BF! Try harder bitch, yunus and i will never fall for your words. U knew him well so do i. Btw, if u knew him that well, u will probably know what will be the consequences if someone disturb his life. Go on bitch, nothing will tear us apart! Thanks for dropping by!

Wrap up

2008-12-05T14:15:00.006+08:00

YESTERDAY

Went out with hubby yesterday as he worked from noon till 11pm on the day after the counselling. We did not spent much time on wednesday, so hubby took off yesterday to spent the whole day with me. We went window shop at Bugis, then to City Hall. We had great day talking and laughing with 1 another. Then we thought of surveying some wedding jewelleries at Marina Square. We went into Soo Kee at first, but its too expensive. Then i pushed him into SK Jewellery, 1 of his favourite jewellery shop where he bought me a whitegold necklace for my birthday. We realised that SK is much more valueble compared to Soo Kee. The salesman recommended us this set of wedding jewelleries;a necklace, ring,a pair of earings for me and a ring for him.

lovely isn't it?? unfortunately i can't get the picture of his ring.
We will be going there again next week to deposit some cash, and hopefully by March we will be getting that set home. Hee! I was so happy! Jewelleries are my all time lovers!

WEDNESDAY 3 DECEMBER 2008

Wednesday morning i had pre-marriage counselling at Bukit Batok PPIS. Both me and hubby plus our parents need to come down too. And guess what, i fell at the carpark and my left feet bleeded. I don't know how i fell and the pain was excruciating. The moment we reached there, hubby and his dad was already arrived. Hubby and i filled up a form and then i was first to be counselled. During the counselling, i told every single thing from the start. Especially the way my dad buried my child. After my parents turn, mom was crying and dad's face was angry. I think the counsellor presured them too much. After the counselling has ended, both hubby and me will be attendind a course in January before we can take kursus rumahtangga. Headed back home then, with black face.

MONDAY 1 DECEMBER 2008

On last monday, adek bonc and me went out at a last minute thingin. We felt bored and pissed at home, as grandma can't stop nagging. Since adek bonc is not working, we decided to head to town for a window shopping. I know its monday, kinda boring but we just wanna go out so much. Earlier on, hubby told me that Azmie rented a car and wanted to go rounding with us. So called him up and meet up. This time, the rented car was a bit 'waprak'. Its an old car. But when i went in, the music blasted so loud, and the steering was change to momo' steering almost like a sports car in the inside.

Adek bonc bought a sling bag at far east, and then we waited for Yayah to knock off at Tangs. Afterwards, headed to Bukit Batok for supper at Aliff coffeshop. Adek bonc treated us supper which cost nearly $20.(orang da gaji..)We still in the mood of going out, so adek bonc and hubby bought some snacks and cards and then we headed to Changi Beach to relax ourselves. We stayed there till about 3am. Before we left, i asked hubby to coach me how to drive at the carpark. I always wanted a car licence so much as i feel like its cool to have your own car and its very convenient. I turned 1 round at the carpark and then its Azmie's turn. haha!

Zana Birthday

2008-11-30T12:37:00.010+08:00

As i promised, yesterday i went for a birthday celebration at Yew Tee. Its the twins 18th birthday, Zana & Qina Arshad. The bbq pit were held at BLK 656 at Chua Chu Kang. Pictures uploaded.

preparation of bbq..

food food food

ain,erni,me,shalini and yayah

picture with the bdae twins

couples.

the bestie kememeh were there too! btol tk titi?

whole picture

Birthday twins, Zana & Qina Arshad.
Finally the shortest babe among us has turned 18 years already.. haha.. smoga panjang umur and murah rezeki.. love u both twinnies!

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NEWS FLASH!!!

YUNUS&INTAN; will be getting married in April 2009.

AZMIE&HIDAYAH; will be enganged in June 2009.

SYAH&ERNIDAH; will be enganged in October 2010.

And not to forget, another friend of us, Puvenesh will be getting married next year but im not sure on which month. Looks like everybody are settling down quite early.. Till here then!

Sat Blues

2008-11-29T12:14:00.003+08:00

Nenek came yesterday evening with Dewi cuz. She will be staying here for couple of days. Siap ar! I woke up early today, brushed my teeth, had a cup of tea for myself and then helped out nenek with the cooking. I cooked sayur lodeh and ayam goreng. I was happy though that i finally know how to cook kuah lodeh now. Haha! Rest for a while and then start with the traditional massage from nenek. My whole body smelled minyak geliga.. Phew!

After that, hang some clothings outside. Time checked is only 12noon. I can't believe i finished everything before 1pm. Later at 4pm, hubby will be coming over to my crib, have a short discussion again with nenek about the mak andam thingin then off to Chua Chu Kang. Its Zana & Qina 18th birthday today. Both of were twins and some of our ITE friends were invited to her bbq pit near her housing area. The party will start at around evening, 7:30pm. Will be meeting Yayah & Azmie and Einn at Yew Tee mrt station later.

Pictures will be uploaded soon. Lunch time!

Job Hunting

2008-11-26T22:20:00.004+08:00

This week been quite hectic for me.. Went job hunting at various places. Went to Tangs, Dreamworks, Ntuc Seacare and more.. I seriously need a job so much. Preferably in Administration. I can't stand myself rotting at home and those nags from mom and granny nimore. Furthermore, i want to help out with hubby with our financial plannings for our solemnization to come. Oh yes, speaking about solemnization, we intend to make it on 11 April 2009, the day after our birthday. Since granny insisted on making it as soon as possible, we have to postponed our Balinese wedding theme helding at Woodlands CC which we had planned earlier on.

This cute family potrait was done by hubby somewhere in the internet. Although Ady Adryan is not around with us, hubby and i were always be a family to him. Thus im happy that hubby and i finally get to settled together after the lost of our son. We sacrifised alot and fight for our rights among our family so much. Thankfully, we made it. I feel like printing and laminate it, or maybe upsize it and put it in a frame to place in our new home. Ady will never be forgotten by us. Love u always son..

dearest Dewi, I was touched reading your post about me. Which i never thought u will gonna say that although we never met before. Maybe, our friendship turns lively because we got alot of incommons between us.. I hope we get to meet each other 1 day and i can't wait to see your hair right in front of me..Hahaha!! Im so loving it! And your Mango tops and makeups, gosh! So many things to share with you. Be it in relationship problems or otherwise. I guess you are what i am. Heehs! Keep very2 in touch babe and tag me anytime whenever you want. I think its better your blog remain that way without a tag board. So you don't have to stress urself up with hatetaggers nimore. Take care babe and hope our friendship will bloom!

lazy..

2008-11-22T22:33:00.005+08:00

I think im down with fever after adek bonc chalet last night.. just a random post.. feeling tired, sick, angry, unfair and insecure..

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dad planned to engaged us first in February. Like shit! Why can't he speak up to hubby's dad himself?? Instead he wanted to talk to hubby at my crib just now. Now hubby is mad, he had no mood to talk to me.. I've waited him all day to reach home after his long working hours were furtile. I blame my dad a lot. He twisted this whole plan and made hubby in no mood. But the thing is, im the victim. Now hubby doesn't call me, im all alone in my room, with shiver body and a backache. Somtimes i reminiscence how my life would be.....

Storm in a cup

2008-11-17T20:05:00.003+08:00

On the 15th, i went over to hubby's place for Ady's 40th day tahlil. Actual plan was hubby's parents invited my parents to join along and at the same time to discuss about our relationship. However, there were storm in a cup and the whole family was very chaotic after what my dad argued with his dad. I don't give a damn and i just continue helping our the feast. I don't wish to blog out what my dad said to hubby's dad, but what is flickering in my mind was when dad confessed that Ady is not his grandchild.

Waited for few hours but none of my family members came. I don't wish to go home so i sleepover at hubby's crib. Futhermore, the kitchen was in a mess and i helped out till late. The next day, i went home at about 7pm. I saw my parents in a few blocks away but i ran away from them. When no one was there, i went up to my house as i was very super tired. To my surprised, when my parents left, they locked up the gate using the bicycle chain. Very good. Luckily hubby was still downstairs. Then i received a msg from my mum that my dad, my 2 uncles and dad's bestfriend were going to hubby's place. We quickly rushed to his place again.

Hubby went in first as i waited for Yayah at the staircase. While waiting, i heard their conversation in the phone. When Yayah arrived, lite a stick for a while and then we went in. My dad was in total silence compared to the day before when he acted big to their family. Throughout the meeting, my second uncle was the only one who do the talking. Im lazy to elaborate so long, but the final decision was, both parties agreed on settling both of us together. Which means, we will nikah whenever we are ready. There will be no barriers from them and they can't stop us from seeing each other.

So for now, we will taking up the khusus rumahtangga first. When everything has settled then we will proceed with the nikah. I can't tell when will our nikah date be, but the latest will be in January 2009, and the earliest shall be before Christmas this year. When we left, dad apologised to hubby's father.(Wakakakaka!!!!) The rest of his relatives gave me a pat on my shoulder and advised me not to think too much as everything were fine now. They wanted us to settled as soon as possible so that nothing will happen again.

On the other hand, my grandma knew everything already. Everything from the start. After the meeting we went to nenek house back and i saw her eyes were teary and she had no voice. She was feeling unwell at that time. I thought she's gonna nag at me but i was told from my aunty that my grandma put the blame on my parents especially my dad. After the long scoldings from my grandma to my dad, grandma was the one insisted my dad to go to hubby's place to discuss about the marriage.

So everything are fine now between both parties and i hope everything will go on smoothly..

Nite Out

2008-11-14T14:42:00.002+08:00

Just a random update,as im still feeling tired although its already 3pm. Actual plan for Yesterday was to go to ite simei for a career fair and then thought of travel back to NUH then to Lido meet Yayah, Azmie and Zana. So therefore hubby rent a Toyota Axios car as we wanted to travel quick and fast. But the plan went the other way round. We fetched Yayah and Azmie at B.Panjang then to ite simei. The career fair this year was not as much grand like last year. Not much booth were put up compared to last year. I only managed to apply for Wing Tai Co. which is the main human resource for retail outlets. Which was not what i really hoping for. We went there for a quick visit and then had dinner at Changi Village. After filling up our empty stomachs, Hubby showed Azmie the Red House located near Downtown. Its one of the most popular haunted houses in Singapore.

Its already evening that time and Azmie had to go to sub-court to settle his bike fines. So from Pasir Ris, went down to town. After he had settled everything, met Zana at our favourite spot which was at Lido McCafe. Had tea break and cakes while writing a letter to our dearest friend, Matno whose now in Kaki Bukit Centre. Zana wanted so much to go to Seletar Dam as she never went there before. But before we went there, we travelled to East Coast to meet up Ninin and Adnan then we raced to Seletar Dam.

Nothing much there, as usual. Just had a normal conversation with my friends when suddenly hubby mentioned to go for and adventure at Lim Chu Kang, the malay cemetary. Me and Zana gave a stunned look as both of us are in a 'dirty' week and some more its thursday night. Funny thing was, Zana prepared to play an Ayat Kursi in her phone. Hubby insisted to go as he wanted to visit our son's grave and at the same time to ensure if the batu nisan did not fall again. So raced again there, but unfortunately hubby cannot enter to Ady's grave as there were some graves were digged up in front of Ady's grave. I think that was a great adventure. Ady's death has made me to be brave enough enter the cemetary as i never went there before throughout my entire 18 years of living. Then travelled extra extra fast to nearest petrol station as i wanted to pee!

Hubby then complained he was hungry so we headed to B.Gombak to have supper. Time checked was already 12:30am. Adek bonc suddenly wanted to join supper with us so she met us there. While Adek bonc was eating, Azmie and hubby sent Zana home first as there was not enough space in the car. After supper, thought of going home but thanks to Adek bonc when she mentioned to go rounding till late. Hubby and Azmie came out with an idea to go to Handerson Waves. From B.Gombak to B.Merah! But it was a nice view from there though. Had lots of fun there as Azmie made some funny dance moves and, for the first time ever, me and hubby fell together while carrying me. Hahaha!!

Thought of call it a day, but the fuel was still not half yet. Then we headed to Eng Neo Horse Farm for another adventure. Time checked was already 3am. The road to travel into the farm was damn eerie and dark. But luckily throughout the whole adventure i don't see anything which i don't want to see..(paham2 la eh)Haiz... what a long trip! That was the last place we went so reached home at about 3:40am. Took a long bath with Adek bonc(hee!!)then off to bed. But i did not sleep till 5am as i was waiting for hubby to reach home. After sending Yayah they lepaking a while at B.Panjang.

I did not bring my digital camera yesterday so if they send me pictures taken in their phones then i will upload it. Ok! Time to eat!

NUH Visit

2008-11-12T00:04:00.004+08:00

Almost forgotten, the day before i went Sentosa me and hubby went to NUH to visit Uncle Maman, one of his closest relative. It was a shocking news to Cik Dewi as Uncle Maman was on his way to work. He felt drowzy while he was in the bus. An inconsiderate bus driver stopped him somewhere and he walked drowzyly by the pathment. He suddenly fainted by the roadside with his mouth full of bubbles when 2 policemen took him to the station. And guess what, these stupid dogs thought that he was drunk although there were bubbles in around his mouth, they did not call an ambulance at all. How stupid can they be??

Skipped some parts, he was warded in NUH in an ICU ward. His condition was really bad. From what i was told, his eyesight were poor, his kidneys were spoilt, his lungs were full of excess water, and his body has low sugar plus his both legs are really weak.

When i saw him, he sempat smiled at me. I was touched that he still recognised me. Praying hard hopefully he will recover. He had help me and hubby alot in processing our son's grave and the funeral feast. Seeing many pins and tubes in his body tells me how much he suffered. Really pity his family alot as he is the only person supports his wife and his 4years kiddo.

I will be going to visit him again tomorrow morning as Cik Dewi will not be around. At the same time i will gather some information about his condition with Clare hopefully, one of my ex-collegue at glasshouse who was coincidentally working in that ward. Really hope that Uncle Maman will recover soon and living in his healthy life like before..

FOC Trip

2008-11-10T14:59:00.022+08:00

Azmie(yayah's bf) got 2 FOC visit cards to interesting places. He invited me and hubby to tag along with them to visit to some places. In the end we decided to go to Sentosa. So everything was in Sentosa. Believe it or not! At 9am, trained to Woodlands meet hubby, and took 963 bus-ed to Bukit Panjang meet Yayah and Azmie then headed to Harbourfront.

Cabled to Sentosa..

The moment we reached Sentosa, we can't wait to take the free rides there. At first we wanted to ride on the tiger life sky ride, but its only valid for 50% off the FOC card. So we decided to ride on the skywalker instead. The sky was abit dark like its goin to rain, but thankfully it did not.

At Skywalker..

After the 2-way ride with the skywalker, we headed to the Butterflies & Insects Museum. But i don't know why there were parrots, birds and snakes in that Butterflies Museum.

Guess what, this green snake skin"s texture is as smooth as a compact powder! Ain't scaly at all!

Next, we headed to the Fort Siloso. I don't really took many photos there cause i find that the place is a bit eerie which i don'know why. Furthermore, the entire place was huge and i felt like as if my legs were to fall off. The guys were so mischievious at that time as they love the history of Singapore World War which they walked from one place to another by themselves leaving their gils behind. But i only took certain pictures only.

Finally headed to Palawan Beach for a cold bath in sea after the long hot trip. About 2hrs later, went to catch the 4DCine Blast. It was superb and fun fun fun. Should catch that. Lastly, went to the Underwater World which was the last place we went.

Cabled back to harbourfront and had dinner. Planned to take the DHL Hot-Air Balloon but sadly it was no longer there. So we decided to take the Singapore Flyers instead. Although me and hubby had taken it before, we just tag along as they wanted us to direct them.
In the Flyer..

Finally at about 10:40pm, we bidded goodbye and we trained back home. I can't explain how lethargic i was during that point of time. Anyway, its a big thanks for Yayah and Azmie for bringing hubby and me to tag along to visit interesting places which worth about $200 per person for free. Love you guys!

Random

2008-11-04T00:09:00.005+08:00

Random pics i editted just for fun..

*fyi, in this pic he was 17yrs and im 15yrs old.

Night confession

2008-11-03T01:45:00.005+08:00

(Sobbing...)
Its like only 26hrs im back home from my home run yesterday. I thought mum will not open up with another hot topic to me. But yet, she indeed. Saying that my life has turn upside down as i always run away, sleepover outside.. Still going on with a guy that ruined my family. I was hoping to hear something refreshing from her.. as i heard her calm conversation with sis, i decided to sat outside with her. But that was what i get from her. My tears came down as i ate my balance kuih raya in the kitchen. I remember what hubby's dad said, be strong always. I did not utter a single word at mum at all. With heart full of sadness, i went into my room and cried hard again.

I knew that everyone might know that im pregnant to a 4 months baby. Which has fully developed. Seeing my baby in the monitor during my ultrasound was a delightful moment of my life. Its my baby. Every woman will encounter how excrutiating the labour pain is. But it will end in a happy ending. Unlike me, i had suffered the similar pain, but it did not end like what other woman did. Its dead, and i do not get to hold him. The feeling of that pain is still hurting me now. Although me, hubby and his family wanted the child so much, my side forces to go beyond hubby's and family responsiblities.

My side thought that after the abortion, everything will be okay and i will forget hubby. But it went the other way round. I suffered post-mental problems after my labour, i was kept indoor and nobody is around, and i can't step out eventhough i wanna mit my girls. My phone is frequently checked by my dad, he even sent harsh msgs to hubby using my number and me, never fail to tear of my late son. It really hurt my soul. As i browse through others blogs, there are always a beautiful stories and pictures with frens and family to share with. Unlike me, is always the same sad story.. I don't have many close friends for me to open up with. I do have 1 or 2 but we rarely meet up. It takes 4 to 5 months till we see each other again.

My face is very ugly now, i had dark circles around my eyes as i often cried. The only word that describe me most is to be strong, and tolerance. However i really want to thank hubby's father for motivating and giving me strength to overcome this matter. And i really wish to see myself as happy like i use to be in the past. Nope, the day that brought me happiness is the day that me and hubby are declared husband and wife. (im here sobbing yet my sis and mum are having nice conversation outside.. nvm.)

For 4 months i carried him, and now he's gone. I really miss my son.. But he knew its beyond my control and he knew who is the cause of everything. i just can't wait to see him 1 day. Mama and papa will never forget you son.. We will always fight for our happiness and meet you 1 day...

I miss you son..

editted

2008-11-02T16:11:00.001+08:00

Sleepover somewhere yesterday.. as i had another arguments at home. really hate it so much. I don't want to think about it anymore, but people keeps on bringing up the topic. I don't want to mention where i was yesterday or where i slept, the only thing that i was pissed off was my plannings with yayah to sentosa had to be postponed.

For now, whatever it is, i don't give a damn. in fact i now turned in more rebellious whenever people brought the topic again. it really pierced my heart. not only because of their thick words from their mouth, but what pierced me most was my lost child.

Yayah and her bf had contacted me and hubby quite often, and they really understands our situation alot. Although the sentosa trip had cancelled, i believe there will be more upcoming trips will come. i love you minah!!!

13mths anni

2008-10-25T05:41:00.000+08:00

Hubby made both his name and my name in old japanese font for me.. Its a sample for me to see it in a clear view as he thought of making a new tattoo of my name in this font on his stomach probably..

Anyway, yesterday on the 24th was our 13 months anniversary.. hubby surprised me with a free ride at the Singapore Flyers. Haha! Actually thanks to Yasli and hubby for planning our anniversary in that free ride.. pictures uploaded.

happy 13 months anniversary hubby.. loving you always.

1 sided story

2008-10-22T02:14:00.000+08:00

Matters went out of place again at home. And i just don't believe im the one was to be blame all the time. Why? Why me only? I knew i made a biggest mistake but why people still have to blame me after everything has settled? 2 days past my home electricity were cut off. i over heard mom's conversation with sis regarding the bills. trying not to make them think that i don't bother, i force myself to join their conversation. I knew there's tons of dollars needed to pay out those bills, but why i am the one that has to be blame for all this? just because about the abortion matters? flash it back, who was the one that insisted the abortion so much. it wasn't me. i wanted my baby so much. it was dad that forces everyone including hubby's parents to agree with the abortion eventhough hubby's parents do not want to abort it. in fact, they came with open arms to help up.dad had made fake stories to mom that they do not want the child. so dad wanted this badly, and now all the unpaid bills were insufficent.

lil sis, yes, i did cause trouble. but both me and bf wanted to be responsible for it. and now abortion has over, our family's financial are tight, im the one were to be blame. just put urself in my shoes. i've lost my dearest child, people are forcing me to leave my hubby, and now, im the cause of our family's tight financial. (tears rolling) mom and u can say that i don't spare a thought, but can u feel what i am feeling inside? each day i never fail to cry to myself. i think of my late child, my relationship, and my family. me and hubby had decided to give mom $400 monthly after our marriage which dad at first agree. now he had twist the whole thang. u can say dad is not at rest working thinking of me. but how sure are u? i hate dad so much cause i knew his darkest secret behind his working scenes on what he had done to our family. and so for now, yeah.. suits you so that im cause for all this..

no one understands this feeling of mine. although they hate bf so much, bf never fails praying to god to protect mom and dad.. but people around us can't stop pulling us down. its not easy for me to forget the past and forget him as well. I've gave birth to his child and we can't possibly tear apart. our son needs us 1 day. me and him have to be together. i can see in mum's eyes that she hated me so much. whenever sis is not at home, mom does not talk to me nicely. till sis homed, she will be back like normal. i know i cause all this. and i know im the one who has to be blamed. so i think its time for me to leave. so that i won't cause any troubles to my family. but don't u worry sis, i will give mom my salry money every month without my presence at home. its time for me to find a new shelter. (tears rolling furiously)

i love mom and my siblings, but sometimes they just don't know what i feel inside..

im leaving soon..

Survey

2008-10-20T02:18:00.001+08:00

1)Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
* my dearest hubby..

2)Your boy/girlfriends ex calls and needs a tire change, do you lend them a help?
*nope. why helping them when they're in need only?

3)Ever seen a ghost?
*nope,don't wish to see neither!

4)Do you love anyone?
*absolutely yes!

5)A person that you miss?
*my late son..

6)A band/group you thought was cool when you were little?
*SClub7.(kental right?!)

7)Do you wanna have kids before you are 30?
*I already had 1 duhh..

8)Ever had a crush on one of your friends parents?
*Nope,that's insane!

9)Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
*I guess i look like my mum.. but both of my parents has big eyes and sharp nose leh.. So who do i look like??

10)If you could be with one person now who would it be?
*My hubby and my late son.. :(

11)Where would you like to be in 10 years?
*In New york?? hahaha...

12)Something you learned about life this year?
*Always fight for my rights and be strong always..

13)What do you want for your birthday?
*A car! Rx8 maybe..(plus a car license haha!!)

14)Have you said I love you to anyone today?
*My hubby la duhh...

15)What did you have for breakfast?
*I don't eat breakfast coz im still sleeping..haha!

16)How many hours of sleep do you get yesterday?
*From 1am to 3pm. which means,15hrs? OMG!!

17)What do you wish you were doing right now?
*erm... a night out with hubby?..

18)Ever had a black eye?
*nope.

19)Last person u went out with?
*My hubby only.. hees!

20)Last board/card game you played?
*Chest(dam)

21)What do you think of Brad Pitt?
*He's cute i guess..

22)Name a friend you have the most in common with?
*My 8yrs gf, Ika Dolly. ;)

23)What color are your toe nails?
*natural.

24)Last person you talked with on the phone?
*My hubby, as usual..

25)Have you traveled overseas?
*Yup, but not that far, in melacca only.. ;(

26)What movie do you want to watch?
*House Bunny & Eagle Eye.

& Thanks Adek Bonc for helping me out with my new blogskins and all those editting.

Reminiscence

2008-10-17T14:19:00.000+08:00

These days i've been dreaming of my late son. Worst of all, i heard a baby's voice said 'cak' to my ears as i was about to doze off. its like as if he is playing hide and seek with me. Everytime i see toddlers or babies, makes me think of him. He should be feeling the same way as normal kids after i delivered. But he is in another place right now.

Sometimes i miss rubbing my tummy and talk to him throughout my pregnantcy, same goes to hubby, talking rubbish to him. But eversince he left, i felt lonely. I felt like as if no one is always there with me. Whenever i am down, he is always the person that i will talk to. And now he is gone, emptyness is what im going through. Till now, i can't stop tearing to myself whenever i miss him..

Hubby and i have been trying hard to get ourselves together. He is working hard and try to get a place for us to stay. We've made some plannings already and insyaallah we will register for kursus rumahtangga next month. From there, we will slowly proceed. I've lost my precious one and i hope hubby and i will start a new life soon. Whatever it is, i will always miss my precious son...

new beginning

2008-10-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

A week has past and I've discharge from KKH after my labour. Everything has settled and going back to its rightful place. So for now im resting at home to get myself alive and healthy like last time and at the same time haunting for jobs; a long term job for my future plannings. However currently hubby and family were busy doing kenduri and pekebumian for Ady Adryan and also for our safety especially my health. Hubby's family now had no issue with me nimore and at the same time giving us a helping hand.

I felt a big lost in my life. But i have to be strong. And at the same time be always at the bright sight cause this is the only way to defend my relationship. We have to bare the consequences but really hope that our future plannings shall be fulfilled. So for now its only the matter of prooving to them that we can support ourselves and being loyal to one another. As this days of raya month goes by, little kids and teens happily rayaing from day to night while myself, resting at home. My health is much more important for now and i believe that my happiness shall come alive again in times to come.

Im sorry for my biggest mistakes and cause trouble for everyone. But 1 thing that i shall not forget is my son, Ady Adryan. I don't mind critisism, or calling names on me. This is my blog, its my rights to say what i want. However, this is also not to boast out my problem to everyone, but this is just a story of my life. I will never fall for what people think of me or look down on me. Important is i can proof to them that i can survive independently and support myself. I won't be repeating my mistakes nor hurt them again, but all i need is the understanding and moral support from them. Although Ady has gone, they still have to understand that he's my child, their grandson and accept this reality. I will always pray for your happiness there in your world son, and i promise that your mum and dad will be together 1 day to meet you again..

In loving memories Always...
Allahyarham Ady Adryan(Abdullah)bin Muhd Yunus
04 October 2008, 3.55pm.
Airmataku tidak henti mengalir melihatmu terpaku membisu. Mengakhiri riwayatmu yang tidak bersalah, tidak berdosa amat pahit untuk ku tempuh. Ku akan sentaiasa mengenang dirimu sayang. Jauh sekali untuk ku lupakan. Inginku memohon seribu keampunan padamu sekiranya kau tahu apa yang berlaku di sekitaranku hingga membuat jasadmu terseksa. Akan ku semadikan dirimu di dalam lubuk hatiku selamanya, dan semoga kite ditemukan kembali di sana...
Anakku sayang, Ady Adryan(Abdullah)

& thanks hubby for loving me as much as i love you. will always keep to our promises.

Amin.

the news

2008-10-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

End of month has come and like usual, mum asking me the same question. Skipping on what has happened that night, both of my parents got to know everything. Hubby came down to settle everything with them.

So yesterday, went to consult my condition at KKH. My face was gloomy whole day as i love this kiddo soo much. So much plannings i've made for him and i don't want to end his life just like that. Its a very cruel thing to kill your own child. Its my life that im standing on, im no more a kid. Its time for me to make decisions on my own and no one can go against it. Checked and confirm, its already 15 weeks old. I was delighted that my tears began to roll down my cheeks when i saw he is there, lying stively. Had another discussion again in the evening over at my place and dad finally giving me the chance to live on my own. The nikah thingin will be approximately in 3 weeks time, and everyone has agreed. Only mum's hatred towards hubby is still burning in her.

Not all couples will end up theirselves divorced. And its not the matter of love that is controlling me. its only that i had enough of my teenage life which does not brought happiness in my life. I want to start a new life in a different way but no one cares till this matter occur. Enjoy is what people say to me. But i had enough. "Enjoy" is the one that will ruin my life. I want to learn to be independent and learn to face major obstacles by myself. Eventhough im different now to certain people's thinking, im still myself. Although im a cheerful or not, im still a sad person that no one knew about me. Whatever people says about me shall fall on my deaf ears, not being selfish but being myself a chance to proof others that i know what i am doing and living in happy life with it.

Looking forward to next check-up.

24 september 08

2008-09-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was finally our 1 year anniversary so met hubby at around 4.30pm then headed to ps to catch a movie. Watched disaster movie, which i thought hilarious, but it turn out to be quite nonsence to me. After the movie ended at around 9pm, we went to clarke quay met kak sarimah, hafiz and yasli. Had dinner at The Coffee Conneisure(tcc)and at the same time, celebrated Yasli 28th Birthday. Enjoy the pics!

secrets in heart

2008-09-23T02:58:00.000+08:00

I had completed doing one of the kuih raya just now-Sarang Semut, all time favourite kuih in my family. I rest for a while and hope to fall asleep. hubby is sleeping now, i guess so. But my heart seems feeling uneasy all the time.

My story of life is like full of ups and downs. But mostly downs. I kept locking myself in the room, to avoid from any arguments with my family. Its a everyday thing to happen. I argue a lot with people. Especially mum and sis. Im not gonna say what i normally argue, but i felt unfariness deep down in my heart. I cried most of the time seeing my life in turmoil. And i wish i have a close girl fren that can understand we gerls feel. But i don't have any. I don't have so many friends like i use to. Im not as cheerful like what i am last time. And im not as strong as last time.Instead, i often give up and give in to others and i took the blame. I don't wanna tell too much of my problems to hubby. Coz i wanna learn to be independent and learn to stand up. But every single beads of sorrows i swallowed, it goes down to my heart and bottled it tightly inside. Then rolls of tears will start to roll down my cheeks.

I knew hubby is the only person that can understand my family problem. But what if he leaves me 1 day? To whom am i gonna cry on? I really love hubby so much. That he sets my heart free and gave me the confidence to stand for my right. But im still bewildered, does he love me as much as i love him? He is my pillar of strength and i can't bare to see him go. Without him, i will definitly fall or maybe, i'll turn to back to my wild lifestyle.

Hubby, this is my first time holding a relationship to a year. This is new love chapter created in my life. Too many memories we had and if 1 day u shall leave me, our memories shall be the one that make me break down in tears. Im afraid that i can't move on. I've never love a guy as much as i love you before. Till im willing to sacrifice my pride to my family regarding Dani Adryan. I don't wish to throw coz i wanna spent my entire life with you. Tears rolling slowly as i flash back the past when we fought over a third party and about being unfaithful, i really hope it will never happen again coz im always faithful and honest to you. I don't wanna end my love just like that as i showered everything to you entirely. Without you, i will never live coz no one will understand my bottled feelings and problems except you. My family will never understands me. I really hope that you shall be with me all the time coz you are my light of my life. I hope that your plannings regarding the tying our strings will came true and have a happy life with you. I really love you a lot..

Present and PAst

2008-09-22T01:58:00.000+08:00

Love.
My My Hubby Rascal
Muhd Yunus Abd Rahim

we're left with few more days to our 1 year anniversary darling. unbelievable that a year has passed so fast. i will never forget every moment that we've spent together back in time. our outings, our birthday, our family gatherings and other sweet and sorrows times we shared together. hope that our love last forever. looking back to your pictures now reminds me the way you look differently when the first time i met you. im happy that we're still going on strong together despite of many obstacles that we had face.

i LOVE you, hubby.

counting down to 24 Sept 08.

Geylang nite

2008-09-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

Last week i spent 3 days straight going to the bazaar geylang with hubby. It was unbelievable of us going there for 3 straight days. On Monday, we went just to survey our baju raya. We will be wearing blue this year. As im not really in the mood of rayaing, i just thought of getting a simple baju kurung. At the same time, i don't wanna show my bulging stomach to people.

Monday's visit to geylang was quite renggang. Not much people. I did met some people that i know but i don't care to approach them. Went home early that nite. However the next day, we went geylang double-date with hubby's childhood fren and his girlfren. We end up bought our baju raya finally without hubby's fren. Coz they caught up with a fight out of sudden. childish.

So yeah, i bought a mini kurung and hubby bought a telok blangah kurung. I can't help teasing him wearing telok blangah kurung. It reminds me so much of the zapin dancers wearing that with samping and songkok tinggi. hahaha!!! yup, but i hate my journey back home coz i vomitted all what i've eaten earlier. Finally on wednesday, went out girlfrens; mira, ras, ayu ang mau. Like usual, everytime we meet each other we will laugh out loud most of the time. we had trouble saying the right word to each other as in, ras mention 'buntang' instead of bintang, mau mention 'pailiang' instead of pailang and hubby mention 'u, tolong gatalkn, garuk' intead of saying u, garukan, gatal.

We laugh and laugh a lot that we did not really window shop. Instead we chilled out at the playground nearby the bazaar. mau got a new name for hubby which is, 'abg pailang' and she was so hooked to it. Had a great time with them although we don't really walk in the bazaar. At about 11.15pm we trained back home.

baby's day out

2008-09-12T20:49:00.000+08:00

Last 3 days, was my baby's day out wit hubby and Ryan. Went to take a stroll at amk hub. Thought of goin somewhere further, but the weather was so hot so we had no choice but to go to that boring mall. Then headed back home to breakfast.

HATRED

2008-09-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

I hate my family.

I hate my life.

Outz.

Countdown To 1yr Anniversary

2008-09-03T02:04:00.000+08:00

Aslyn-That's When I Love You

When you have to look away
When you dont have much to say
Thats when I love you
I love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly

And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
WhenI love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time

And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
Thats when I love you
I love you, more than youll know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
Thats when I love you

When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
No matter what

My BIG Appetite

2008-08-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

Its left with 2 more days to fasting month and im not sure i can fast or not. Been eating alot this days. I realised my appetite has increased. And i also realise im getting a bit plummer. But who cares?

Another thing is, i don't fell like celebrating raya this year but im looking forward for the bazaar geylang. Weird. I've not yet make any plannings yet on what i wanna wear for this year raya with hubby. However, can i possibly skip the ferst day of raya?? Hahas.

Nothing much though.. As usual boredom strikes whole day and i always spent my day sleeping. Till here then.

Weekly Blues

2008-08-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

I got so frustrated with my wireless broadband. The internet was damn slow and i have to wait for minutes to log into the website. Last Sunday was our 11th monthniversary and now i finally got to blog it out. This month was rather quite simple. I went over to hubby's place and bought some food for him. We spent hours of watching DVDs and joke around. At about 5pm, we left and headed to Kampong Glam to catch the Lighting Opening Ceremony.

It was pouring and hubby could'nt just get rid of touching his thick gelled hair. Met my dancers there and watched some performances by my fellow instructors from P.A and also others dancers from different groups. About 9.30pm we left. I felt kinda dizzy and felt like throwing up so then we make a move.

That was last week. This week, i felt paronoid over some issues. Im so bewildered why i have to go through so many things and crack my head every single day. I don't wanna talk much what i've discovered but just to let it out in my blog, i was in a state of total MADNESS on what i've discovered and the thing is, the person who did that was stupid. Like as if i won't find out. I don't know if its true if its being created by the Pasir Ris guys and this Fat Bitch, but what concern most is that, im glad that i managed to break it through and finally that thing has been stop activating.

This matter brought up again and again when i discovered the email account. This matter really breaking my relationship apart. But whoever did it, i will never forgive the person cause this matter really cuts my heart alot and makes me feel more control to my relationship. I've deleted every single thing that i've discovered, but my heart is still pounding fast out of anger.

Few words to shout out,

TO THE PERSON WHO DID THAT ACCOUNT OR OWE THAT ACCOUNT, YOU ARE DROP GAWD DAMN STUPID.

After tho long break

2008-08-20T15:41:00.004+08:00

My lappy is finally with me now. But i don't have the mood to surf that much. Life has been deadly bad. Real bad.

I almost give up with everything. That i almost wanna escape from this misery life of mine. Im all on my own. I don't want to disturb hubby as he is working really hard for me and his 'junior'. Its the matter of me. On how im going to face the circumstances. One after another. 2 families from my relatives has hated me. Im now have no other people to depend on. Too many stories in my mind and i don't wish to publish it here. Everytime i think of it, it makes me feel hopeless. My explaination were all fell on deaf ears. Afterall, im the one to be blame.

This is all fate and i have to accept. I've tried my best but to no avail. My name has turn bad to all folks out there. But 1 thing that keeps me strong is when hubby reminds me this saying; 'takot kerana salah, brani kerana benar'. My dearest folks and relatives, u can choose to hate me or choose not to see my face. But 1 day, i will show u that i can live independently and raise my own family without u folks.

Im just waiting for the time for me to be disown by you. And i swear, i will live on my own with my hubby and kiddo and proof u that im capable in starting a new family without all bullshits bad-mouth that came from all of you. I swear.

Lump Post

2008-07-26T02:14:00.000+08:00

Been not updating due to my aunt using my laptop for the entire week to do her nursing project. Lots of things to be published here.

Sunday, 20th July 2008
Met hubby early in the morning, cooked some breakfast for his family. It was actually his dad's 53th birthday together with his aunt too, Cik Dewi. So mini celebration were held up in the evening.

Oh yeah, hubby bought 2 fighting fish for me and himself. Haha!

Monday, 21st July 2008
Stayed home as usual. Been raining for this couple of days. Lil bro is still sick. His fever keeps on rising and still not recover. Mum brought him to granny house to medicate him but to no avail. Pity him. Mum is getting sick too and im soo soo stressed out to look after of everything. Be it family, house chores, fucking dad's attitude, money and personal issues. Whatever it is, i hope that my brother will recover soon.

So caught up with family issues this days, including granny. Been having some conflicts with her recently bout me in my family and me with hubby. I just hate it when people starts to talk shit or disagree of me being with hubby. not only
applies to my folks only but to outside people as well. still there, gossips and breakers were trying hard to break us apart. all i can say is, GO ON. I WONT FALL FOR YOUR WORDS. Living in this shit, another issue popped out again. Hubby need to report to Bedok HQ again. This made me felt more worried. I can't tell what will the outcome be regarding his past case. Argh!! Im in deep stress!!!

Tuesday, 22nd July 2008

Lil brother was sent to hospital due to his high fever. Mum felt that something was not right. So dad sent us to KKH and i accompany mum to check on him. Luckily he's not that serious. He had some bacteria in his blood which made him had high fever. But he look so weak and pitiful. Hubby came later on and bought some food for us and after buying the medications, we cabbed home. Then, me and hubby went out for a while and he bought some groceries for my family. So sweet of you sweetie.

Thursday, 24th July 2008
Its our 10th month anniversary. Instead of going out having fun, we headed to Bedok HQ to take some statement regarding some cases. Waited for hours and my mouth was non-stop uttering some prayers hoping that he will not get charge. I told myself that i swear im gonna get mad if he gets charge. Like come on, no point of launching a Yellow Ribbon Campaign if these stupid officers were busy opening up past cases to those ex-convicts that already have turn themseves into new leaf. STUPID! Hubby is so hard working, generous and kind-hearted. He really change a lot when i got to know him. After hours of waiting, hubby came out with a smile. I can't wait to know the outcome. So luckily his officer had closed the past cases and trying to help out the current case to a lighter charge. I was indeed, happy.

Thought of headed back to hubby's house to cook some dinner but family issue caught up again. Fucking dad called me, scolding me for going out accompanying hubby to bedok. Saying that brother and mum were sick at home. Like hello, you were frustrated because there was no food at home, didn't bother bout mum. And now you're blaming me for going out for only 3hrs?! I shouted and spitting out vulgarities to my parents on the phone in the public-train. So much special on my aniversary. I apologized hubby for not spending time with him cause i really have to go home. I was like in the centre. Don't know what to do. Thank hubby that he understands my situation. So i was at home for the rest of the day with a long face. Dad was like totally no manace. He don't seems to talk nicely to me. Just because i don't fight back, he can easily step on my head?!
I HATE DAD!!!

Like wise, crying to myself in the room. I don't wanna disturb hubby cause he was sleeping, had a slight fever. But i still talk to him as usual, but sharing my problems to him. I just feel like running away and get a new life on my own!

Mum's Bdae

2008-07-19T18:04:00.000+08:00

So yesterday after mum off from work, we went out for dinner. It's mum's 39th Birthday. Sis came and bought her a pink long sleve blouse that she bought the day before. Mum was excited that she insist of wearing it with her new jeans. Feeling2 da kurus katakan...

We headed down for dinner at my previous workplace, Fish n Co glasshouse. Mum was amazed by the dining environment and of course, the live band. Mum's enjoyment with the live band was pathetic. She would just stare at Abg Rafee as he sangs some sentimental songs. As usual, sis never fail to embarrass her in public. After our main course, i instructed my coolest manager, Eric, to do a birthday wrap for my mum. Mum was embarrassed by then cause everyone was looking at her. So she got herself a free scoop of ice-cream. HAHA.

Back at home...

Wake up early and feeling down. Me and hubby been not talking much this days. So issues were held up again which i don't wish to publish here. But all i want him to know that i love him soo much that no one had ever cross my mind. Sometimes he don't seems to see that. His perception is always me having an affair behind his back. But deep down inside ive been loving him full heartedly and for now, im missing him soo much as we hardly see each other even on saturdays. He's too busy with his current job. Maybe this distance had lead us to many unwanted arguments. But hubby, the truth is, i miss you a lot..

My Hubby

2008-07-16T01:47:00.000+08:00

Met Hubby in the evening last minute as i was so tension at home. So waited for him til he's off from work. Hubby's been working so hard lately from morning till night. Pity him that he injured both of his feet with heavy stuff. After i recovered from my fever, he had it next. Be it sick or injured, he forced himself to work. Hubby's such a workaholic. He wanted soo much to be promoted after what his boss has discussed with him. We did not talk for long on the phone, as i want him to have sufficient rest after so much of hard work. No matter how sick and tired he is, he is always there for me. Thank you soo much for being there with me hubby.
I love you so much!
Get well soon..

perhaps, waiting for surprises on this 10 Monthniversary...

My sorrows

2008-07-14T23:50:00.001+08:00

I've been having high fever for the past 4 days and been stucked in the room the whole entire day. the feeling was terrible. i had bad backache, high fever and headache. And whenever im sick, i can feel like im going to face something bad very soon.

Firstly, i had arguments with hubby, but things had settled out accordingly. Secondly, i was very very upset that i was not told that FIESTARI 2008 was actually held on 12 JULY. This event has been very important to me and i never skip attending that event eventhough i never perform. I cried watching the video from my former school. YES, I CRIED. Watching or performing this traditional dance was like a blood flowing in my body. My tears tend to roll furiously as i was actually wearing my training shirt while watching the video. How i wish to watch it live or even have the chance to perform again. Yes people can say i went off half way but the rason why i went off because SOME PEOPLE are hurting me directly during my training days. It pulls me down so much that it was hard for me to focus and work teamly with others. By then, i often got pick up by others and since i can't perform, at least, PEOPLE, why can't u guys invite me down?? Why am i always care for others but not people care for me? Recalling the past, when everything was fine, everything works so smoothly with you guys. And the most unforgetable part was, having dinner at Youth Park, treating you guys satay and etc. Dance was crazy yet fun. So fun that i really put my heart and soul in this group, that i dare to face critics and sacrifice my time for dance. But no more for me now... I wish my late aunty is still here to guiding my passion..

Thirdly, this really mean to you GF. Yeah, first of all, u don't even gave me a msg regarding the FIESTARI, eventhough we have not contacted, but at least you can inform. I was surprise that you showed up at the competiton. I thought, you told me before that, you're already in another dance group in conjuction with your dearest boifee music group that you claimed that you have no time for our group? Secondly, well i know its your birthday and i clearly knew that i DID NOT WISH YOU but u told my hubby that i did? and the reason why he msg you because its only on behalf, its not a wish from him. And you was like, "aww.. U ada simpan number ME.." Ouh peleease!!! He was bursting with laughter when you replied that way. Thirdly, the reason why i don't even care to wish you cause you don't even did it on my bdae itself. Worstly, you went out with 'Spongebob' instead of coming down to my bdae pit which you promise to ton over and you gave me stupid reason that you don't have money to come but i don't understand how you can went out window shop with him on my bdae. Yes, you came later on, but that was at 8pm. After i spoke to your mum and she was the one who bring you down to my pit. If i never did, you won't be there gf. You too off your phone on my bdae, no msg from you and so i guess you don't deserve to receive a wish from me. U Know what, our friendship is over. Not only because of this, but other personal issues as well that related between me, you and my hubby. Think hard gerl.

Last but not least, this is my blog. I can do whatever i want, whatever i want to say. And even whatever pictures that i want to put up. So MS/MR STRANGER, i don't give a damn on your comment cause im proud what i am now and i don't feel insulted.

Boredom Strikes

2008-07-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

Boredom strikes me now..as i've been staring at the screen of my laptop for the past 2 hours. Earlier on, accompanied hubby for an interview somewhere in amk. then headed back to my neighbouring blocks to have a chat. discussing bout this current issue that we're facing through. Talking bout how this matter shall rest and how must we overcome.

Tears started to rolled down our cheeks everytime we talked about things that wil tun out to be bad.. yeah, and the best thing is, my dad so us together and he was like, "don't do this!" i was like, skejap bapak aku suruh kahwin, skejap jgn jumpa. Crazy old buddha!

Hubby decided to wait for me the staircase in case anything happen that make me feel like run away again. about an hour later, i met him again and he went off. So for now, i locked myself in the room staring my laptop. hubby is still not home yet as he with his biker boys outside. waiting for his phone call..

and to my dearest danzie yayah, thanks for the encouragement babe. touching la seyh.. love ya! niwae, i felt so relax and calm everytime i listened to my favourite traditional songs especially the rentra zapin and the hayunan gempak. GOSH! I miss dancing!

Issues Now

2008-07-08T14:01:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating my dearest effa.. Currently being held up by so many issues-PERSONALLY RATED. Well i guess i need sometime at home. i need a total time off for a moment. I felt very lethargic this days due to my overwork at Prudential. So sickening that i've decided to leve that job. Working long hours with little pay. So i get into Forever 21 but i did not turn up to work. I think im not that ready yet to be exposed! haha.. im sick with everything.. be it family nor my life or even outside.

i don't understand why people always judge by looks and money but not by the heart. money does not buy happiness. and looks does not proof that one's is loyal. i felt insulted, deeply, when folks treat me like rubbish. like as if what i did is always wrong. like what i do is always a sin to them. but the truth is, they don't even know what i am into and what i am feeling. and to them, im lost with a world full of freedom. but honestly i declare, im a nobody and i do not have many friends that i can easily adrift with. but why must they think that im a spoil brat??? just because im with tattooed guy???

to people out there, don't judge a book by its cover. to my fucking folks that im not happy with, im happy with who im with. and im still happy that i have a few friends. at least they understand me well then u folks do. tk abes2 have this perception that im adrift. but the fact is that im still searching for ways that can rectify this matter with you folks. he himself too have prove so much to you folks that he is not what you folks thought. and please, if you folks are not happy with it, tell us straight at our faces! not with someone out there which does not belong to our family. you folks are being selfish, just think for yourself but not my feelings. and the reason why i always never return home cause i seeking for some peace in my mind. haiz.... dearest folks, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

and as promised regards to my anniversary prezzie pics, here as follows..

heart box with 24 boats

our frame

scrapbook cover page

thanks hubby for this sweet lil thang, love you hubby!

Ernidah's Pit

2008-07-01T11:37:00.000+08:00

Last saturday was full of fun. Hubby and i reached east coast at 9pm. The carpark was very full due to the mini movie and fireworks that evening. Furthermore, the area was already renovated and many interesting activities were carried out there. So my friends were already there when we reached. I was excited to see them and miss them a lot.

We get our stomach filled up and then hubby and erni's bf when geylang to bought some durians and mata kuching. Haha! Weird rite?? So when they returned, a few of Shah's mates were there too and we chilled out till late, cracking with stupid jokes that Shah put up. As usual, we listened to Jo's ghost stories and at the same time scaring the girls out at night.

Not to forget, thanks to hubby and Shah for making out the toilet prank that night!

So we lepaking till we never realised it was already 5am. At 7.30am we girls and the rest of Shah's friends jumped into the sea and had a great so called 'morning shower' as the tide was high. So after packing up and everything, we headed to Changi for breakfast.

And finally! I managed to get myself into Forever 21 at Wisma Atria. Will be starting soon, next monday. Yipee!

Labels* make-ups and tops are to be bought. beware hubby, you'll be surprised!

Happily Waiting

2008-06-28T20:06:00.000+08:00

On the 24th i went over to his place after work in the evening. its actually our 9 months anniversary dah.. so hubby was in fact rather quiet the whole day. he normally msg or calls me when im working. but for that day, he wasn't. he must be something he's up to.

So i met him at Marsiling and i saw a large fancy paper bag he held behind his back. So we sat down somewhere and i was excited to open it. I can't see present la! so eventually, he opened it up to me and it was a large scrapbook with a small bear tied up at the cover page with a pink sticked-ribbon at the bottom. It was soo cute seyh. I opened up and i read those little post he wrote. The scrapbook was actually full of our past pictures throughout the past 9 months. Plus he also pasted some love letters that he wrote. It was so sweet la for a guy like him to do this thing which usually girls do to a guy. I was surprised like duhh..

Other than that, he gave me a wooden box with a pink folded heart paste on top of the box. Inside, were 24 folded tiny boats. It actually represent how far we've gone through for the past 9 months and 2 frames with our picture. I will update the pictures soon, once i finally got myself a camera phone haha!

As for now, its already 8pm and hubby is still not here yet to fetch me. I will be going of to overnight at Ernidah's pit. My classmates are already there waiting. New post n pictures shall be updated soon kkz!

My new everything

2008-06-23T17:18:00.000+08:00

Welcome aboard,

www.intanbaiduri-equip-gossips.blogspot.com

Okeyh, 2 years has past, and i've realised i have not been blogging for the past 2 years. Reading others blogs gave me this temptation of blogging again. Haha! So everything has been a big major change. Everything. I am now 18 years, which still make me wonder how fast time has passed. No more of wearing uniforms every morning-SCHOOL! haha.. to long lost friends, im no more schooling as i've already graduated last year from ITE, doing Office Skills.

So for now, im currently working in Prudential as a full-time Personal Assistant(Secretary) in T.Pagar.. But yet, i miss those times back in school esp in ITE. Hmm.... Work was quite stable and managable this time. And wat else?

And yup, currently im attached, compared to those years back in time.. flirting and having fun. Like it always mentioned, people change. Haha. Been together with hubby for the past 9 months. Had faced many obstacles down the road and happy that we're still going on strong.

Hopefully everything will goes well in the years ahead..

Cheers!

*im bewildered why is my url so weird?!